I am excited about working out AGAIN…my love affair with working out has been on and off since my college years. One year I trained and ran my first 10K which was AWESOME and so EMPOWERING! And then I fell out of love because after all the training, my knee started to hurt real bad. And then I met Mr. Pancakes and he loved to work out so that became our thing…working out together. He introduced me to running again and I sucked at it. But throughout the years, I fell in and out of love…yet again.
And then I fell in love again before and after my wedding. I started training for a half marathon and I was totally killing it…my running partner and I were training hardcore, everyday and running long runs on the weekends. It was the best I had ever felt working out!! And then the best news possible…I found out I was pregnant!
I continued to train and completed the half marathon in 3 hours and some minutes while four months pregnant. And of course right after that, I felt like SUPERWOMAN & SUPERMOM times 100! It was one of the most euphoric feelings in the world (outside of giving birth to Baby Pancakes). And then I became more pregnant and the love affair waned and then I had the baby and the flame of love for working out completely died.
And I honestly did not even like working out because I felt too big. And then I started running a year after Baby Pancakes was born. Fell back in love after I was running a 5miler and then something happened and then I stopped working out…yet again. Then there went the love affair out the window. It’s definitely an emotional struggle becoming comfortable with your body after baby and I NEVER FELL in LOVE with my post-baby body. I actually did not like it at all. I obviously appreciated all the work my body had to go through to shelter my son for 40weeks and nurse him for 9months and nurture him but I did not like the extra pudge here and there and everywhere!!
Therefore sometime before 2014…something clicked. I wanted my body back!! The body I have ben working for since college, which is strong and fit! And I became motivated to get this done and I am super excited to do this because I want it more than I have ever wanted it before. I deserve to give myself the permission to work towards the body I want without sabotaging and falling out of love. I need to fall in love and in like throughout this new experience of working out.
Nowadays I wake up and just get to working out without over thinking anything. My eating is still a work in progress but overall I am doing a bang up job of working towards that body. Over the years I haven’t felt like this before and I want to maintain the feeling of greatness that I feel when I work out regularly…it’s a feeling like I can do anything in this world and do it great…of course it’s the endorphins but seriously we all need them in our lives…why wouldn’t I want to do something that is good for me.
A friend who works out regularly spoke about being selfish with your workouts because we give so much of ourselves as women, wives, mothers, friends, professionals…so finding something that we can do for ourselves that makes us feel good is a reward. A reward we give ourselves regularly.
My reward to myself is a body that is functional and strong and capable of doing more than I ever thought! I am working on myself and I want this new part of my life to be new and exciting and something that translates into my life’s purpose. We will see where everything transpires but in the meantime, I am excited again about working out.