Lately, I have been having a lot of thoughts about motherhood and my role as a mother and as a working mother.
I changed jobs last year because i wanted to work at a school setting with more time off. And i got that wish because the last two weeks, i have had Fridays off. And we have several other breaks coming. Those are the days i am so thankful i work in such an environment. However, there are other days i question whether i am doing the right thing at all…by being a working mother.
The days when Baby Pancakes is sick and he is laying with me. And it’s 6:30am and i have to get up to get ready, because i give myself ONLY thirty minutes to get out of the house, and he is clinging to me because he is sick and wants to cuddle a little bit longer. And i have to rush to get ready. Sometimes, i cuddle with him a little bit longer. And i am late.
And if you know anything about working in a school setting, you have to be there before the students get there. There are perks…but there are also some things that are nonnegotiable.
The plight of motherhood right now is real and painful. And this morning….i admitted to myself that “being a working mother sucks…sometimes.” I love working and doing what i love but just sometimes…i wish i could make my own schedule and do what i really wanted to do…and be able to take care of my baby and contribute to the household the way i want too.
And then sometimes i think, if we had another baby then maybe i could quit my job to take care of my little ones. And then i remind myself that right now, my reality is being a mother of one that works. And sometimes if i have to be late (the bad employee) in order to cuddle a little bit more…then that’s alright. Work can wait but my baby needs his extra cuddles when he needs them.
In the meantime, i will use this space to vent and feel sorry for myself. And remind myself that i am not the first working mother to feel this and unfortunately i won’t be the last.
Question of the Day: If you are a working mother, what do you do on days like these?