Some days as a working mother is better than others.
And this past week was particularly a challenging one.
At the end of the day…I want to be the best mother that i can possibly be everyday. And on the other end, i want to be the best at my professional as much as possible. And i know some days both roles are going to be conflicting. And one is going to suffer. Of course i have to remember the one that is not going to suffer is my role as a mother.
However truth be told…it’s not as easy as it sounds because there are constant feelings of guilt that goes both ways…that is very real and honest…despite how much i want to be the best mother possible.
A little more context…this past week, little man ran a fever on Monday so he had to be picked up from school. I left work early so Mr. Pancakes he can return to work. Tuesday i stayed home because Baby Pancakes had to be away from school for 24 hours (after a fever). Wednesday, i had to leave work early to go home so that Mr. Pancakes can go to work. We went to the doctor’s office and found out that my poor little man had a really bad ear infection. On Thursday, Baby Pancakes tagged along to my training. Friday, he was feeling well enough to return to school. But of course the whole day, i was on edge because i wondered if i would get a call from his school or Mr. Pancakes.
It was a challenging week because I know that i am responsible for my child no matter what is going on in my work life. But at the same time, I also have responsibilities. I would never put work above my family. At the same time, i had a moment of regret because of all the work my counterpart would have to do when i am not at work. In the end, people at work are supportive but i know not everyone is supportive, especially when they don’t have children and or their children are grown.
Sometimes i do wish there were two of me and my husband and or we had extended family around that can help out when little man is not feeling too well. But in the end…when my son is sick, he doesn’t need anyone else but his mom and work and all my responsibilities there has to be put on the back burner in order for me to be there and available to him. Despite finding out that he had a ear infection…what he needed most of all was my attention, my warmth and cuddles…he needed me. And honestly no one can give him that but me!
And that makes my mommy working regret vanish very quickly.