When looking at the vow, I can honestly say that we’ve been through all of these situations…for better-for worse, for richer-for poorer, in sickness and in health, and to love and to cherish. It’s hard to pick any one over the other, but for me I would have to say to love and to cherish is the one that I’d like to focus on some that are applicable to our marriage.
First off, my husband P. and I have been married for over 3 years.
We were married on August 30, 2008 in Hamilton, Montana
and currently reside on his family’s farm and ranch near Culbertson, Montana.
To love and to cherish…I find this probably the most important vow of all of them
(not saying that the others are less important, but this is the one that speaks most to me).
Let me start at the beginning…Two months after we were married, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer; a month after that, my grandpa with non-Hodgkins lymphoma.
We lived in Idaho when we got married, and the opportunity came for us to move back to Montana the February after we were married. Problem is, we didn’t have a place to live right away, so we lived with my in-laws. We were only supposed to be there for about a month and a half…
that turned into FIVE months. FIVE. AS NEWLYWEDS. Boy, was that ever hard.
Talk about for better or for worse…these were some of the hardest times,
but oddly enough, found that it was easier to go through these things as a couple.
Now, focusing on to love and to cherish…
I can honestly say that this is the most important part for me to remember in my marriage.
I always love my husband-always.
Do I like him sometimes? Nope! I make sure he knows that difference.
If I’m upset, I always tell him, “Honey, I always love you, but I may not like you right at this moment.”
That might seem a bit harsh to some of you, and you possibly might not be able to imagine ever saying those things yourself, and that’s ok. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about marriage, is that everyone’s is different.
To me, even in the hardest of times, you made these vows to this person and you have to uphold them. Remembering that helps me be the best wife that I can be.
You LOVE this person…why would you yell at them and treat them disrespectfully?
As your spouse, they deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Do I always want to pick his dirty underwear off of the bathroom floor?
No way! Is it worth it to get in a fight over? Absolutely not.
To me, carrying on daily conversations with a man who my husband doesn’t know is inappropriate.
I respect my husband enough to not do that. You cherish this person, you love them.
Don’t let your temper get the best of you-wait a little while,
calm down and have an adult conversation about it.
Just because you’re in a long-term relationship with them
doesn’t mean you can treat them however you want.
You always need to keep in your mind that you both need
to respect your marriage-cherish it and each other.
No matter how hard things get (and believe me, if they haven’t been hard yet, they will eventually!),
just keep this in mind “to love and to cherish.” Your marriage is a sacred, beautiful thing.
Treat it like such, and you will get the same back from it.
I hope you all enjoyed a little glimpse into my world, and thanks for listening!
Nicole Hackley, “Prairie Princess” www.deeretomyheart.blogspot.com
Thank you Nicole for your thoughtful and insighful post on Living Our Vows!
It is so important to respect our vows and hence our spouses!