Learning to Embrace Self with lovingkindness

This post was written on 5/7/2015.


Self-confidence can be many things including confidence in your physical appearance, in your abilities and self-worth.  But in essence, all of these things roll into one area that I refer to as the “self.”  After all, our physical bodies, abilities and everything that we do, say, see, feel, hear and taste is part of the self.

Self confidence is one of those things that develop and grow throughout our middle school and teenage years.  Usually when we are younger, our confidence in ourselves and our abilities are abundant because in the early developmental stages, we are all about ourselves…it’s an all about “me” mentality which bodes well for self-confidence.  And then as we enter into pre-adolescents and adolescents, our identities become wrapped up in other people’s perceptions of us–our parents, our friends, girl/boyfriends, enemies, frenemies, society.  There are so many things during these stages that prevent us from embracing ourselves…as we authentically are.

And then i think something magical happens in our twenties (for some of us) where we get back to that “me” mentality and begin feeling confidence in ourselves again.  Mostly because by this time, we’ve come to the honest conclusion that regardless of what someone thinks of us, what and how we think of ourselves is MOST IMPORTANT.

Then perhaps you become pregnant and the confidence in yourself increases because of what your is capable of doing (carrying and giving birth to a human being).  However, the confidence in your physical body may decrease because of what it has become (bigger and provider of milk and warmth for your baby).   This is where your body becomes more than the self and you may forget all the other things that the self is capable of doing.  But hopefully over time, you come to make peace with “your self” again.

And then somewhere in your thirties (and hopefully) forties and later on, you begin to embrace the self in loving and caring ways again.  Self love is one of those vehciles that alows one to embrace the self unconditionally.  In Mindfulness, they refer to it as: lovingkindness.  A way yo develop compassion towaed yourself.  And when we have compassion, we tend to treat others well.  And who is a better person to have some compassion toward but yourself?

Which brings me to myself and learning to embrace self.  Just like with my fitness and wellness journey, confidence in my ability to work out has evolved over the years.  The confidence in my person has evolved over the years.

 Today: Clearly a few months ago I had recently found out that I was expecting Baby Pancakes 2.0 and had gained a lot of weight suddenly so perhaps I was going through some stuff that I needed to reflect on.   I was definitely in a battle with my self about being carrying a child and being fit.  Both are possible but for me, the weight gain was rapid and was feeling some kind of way.  Over time in this pregnancy, I have realized my self (big, small, fit and or not fit) is who I am in that moment and I embrace myself at whatever size.  My self confidence and worth shouldn’t change  with the number on a scale!  I am extending compassion (lovingkindness) to myself during and after my pregnancy. 


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About Mrs. Pancakes

I became Mrs. Pancakes on 4.23.11! I became Mama Pancakes on 8.28.12! And our lives were forever changed! I call myself Mrs. Pancake because my man loves him some good and fluffy pancakes! The Pancake Life chronicles a life that is happy, inspiring, motivating and lived to the fullest! Why don't you stay a while and enjoy in the The Pancake Life!
This entry was posted in inspiration, Mommylogues, motivation, pregnancy, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Learning to Embrace Self with lovingkindness

  1. JJ says:

    You look beautiful! I just saw you and you look great!!!

    I can relate to what you’re feeling on a different level. I don’t gain during my pregnancy. It is afterwards. I gained 4lbs while pregnant with my second and have gained 11-lbs in the 3+ months since :'(.

    I am trying to go easy on myself. Our bodies are a work of wonder. We carry and bring fourth life. That alone says WE are awesome!!!

  2. Ooh girl I understand about the weight gain before and after. That’s why I so wanted to remind myself earlier rather than later to be gentle and kind to myself…glad you are taking the same approach. Our bodies do amazing things carrying and feeding and nurturing these amazing little people!

  3. Mrs JK says:

    THIS!!!! I love everything about this post and it resonates. I’m glad you’ve reached that place of self confidence! And for the record, you are one yummy mommy! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!x