Building The Self-Esteem of Our Girls…

I don’t have a girl yet but working within a school…there is so much girl on girl drama that occurs.  I don’t remember this being the case when i was in high school.  I remember getting along with all the girls, from the drama club to the cheerleading squad.  I was a social butterfly and don’t ever remember being in the middle of any girl drama.  I don’t even remember getting into a verbal fight let alone a physical one.

But nowadays girls are fighting and trying to kill each other.

Googling girl fights and i get a website and facebook account for Crazy Girl Fights and The Best Girl Fights.  When did this begin to happen.  That our girls…young girls are fighting each other over silly things like boys, clothes, hair, jealousy, miscommunication.  Things that are so avoidable.

I am scared for girls today.  The peer pressure to fit in.  To become someone that they are NOT.  By having to fight to prove that you are “down.”  The cliques are getting worse and worse.  Mean Girls are real.  And we see this personified in shows like the Bad Girls Club, Basketball Wives, Housewives of Choose a City.  Young girls who fight become adult women who fight.

Of course i do think with early intervention…a girl can develop the self-esteem and self-worth they need to feel good about who they are.  Having a positive concept is so important because then as a young girl, you don’t have to prove yourself.

I see girls on a daily basis dressed up in brand named clothes, nails and hair and face done.  And although their exterior looks polish….the interior is tainted and scarred.  I don’t have a girl child yet but if i did…i would tell them to be who they are no matter the circumstance.  This is of course easier than said.

But we really need to work on developing the self-esteem of our girls.  We need to fill our girls with positivity and power bigger than any clique, mean girl, bully, etc.

When my niece was younger…i would tell her everyday she was beautiful and strong and smart.   And as she has grown up, she is beautiful, strong and smart.  Ask her and she will tell who she is.  And that’s something that will stay with her for the rest of her life.  Building up our girls self-esteem is one way to raise girls that are responsible and caring and loving to herself and others.

Question of the Day: What are you saying to young girls in your life?

Self esteem

Self-Esteem | mindful-intuitive eating @

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About Mrs. Pancakes

I became Mrs. Pancakes on 4.23.11! I became Mama Pancakes on 8.28.12! And our lives were forever changed! I call myself Mrs. Pancake because my man loves him some good and fluffy pancakes! The Pancake Life chronicles a life that is happy, inspiring, motivating and lived to the fullest! Why don't you stay a while and enjoy in the The Pancake Life!
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14 Responses to Building The Self-Esteem of Our Girls…

  1. Allie says:

    The only thing I’m more thankful for then being out of high school is not having a daughter!! It’s pretty bad out there. I believe the most important thing I can do (other then to raise my boys to treat ALL women with respect!) is to tell my niece that being smart and confident is way more important then being pretty or popular.

  2. Tamara says:

    I have a daughter and a son. Both are very young but I was horrified once to hear my daughter use the “f” word. No, not the one you think. She said, “fat.” Not about herself – it was about a very portly cartoon character, but still. When did that vocabulary creep in? She was also upset once when her little friend told her that girls can’t be clever. Where on earth did HE hear that one?

    • So many of what our kids do and say begins at home! That’s one thing I worry about too…my son choosing to make friends with positive kids who are being pumped good valuable information at home like we will be doing at our house.

  3. Rene says:

    Such a great post! I try to make it a point when I’m talking to my nieces to ask them about school and what they’ve been learning and reading. I try not to tell them how cute and adorable they are. That is something I really don’t like. I think a lot of adults don’t know how to talk to kids so with girls, they tend to go straight to looks and how cute an outfit is, or how pretty their hair looks. I happen to think they are the cutest girls on the planet but I used to watch the Gilmore Girls and there’s a quote from the show where Rory is talking to her mom and she says “who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals?” And that is the path I want to help put them on. They can be pretty and cute all day long. But who cares about all that if when they open their mouths all that comes out is Quinn from Daria… (yep I’m dating myself just a little bit 🙂 We’re raising young women over here (yup I said we’re cause it takes a village and I’m proud to be part of it!) And these women need to be loving, intelligent, kind, productive members of society. Not childish little girls who think fighting over a boy, words said or a dirty look is the way the world works. Once some of these young women on you tube enter the real world, they’ll find that it isn’t very forgiving. And those videos just may come back to haunt them. (sorry I’m rambling a bit. It’s been a LONG couple of days!)

    • Ahhh GG…I need to catch up on that show. The statement is so true isn’t?! So many of these girls are worried about who said what about them but they struggle with basic reading comprehension. Where are their priorities?? It’s so messed up!

  4. I make it an effort to tell Moo that I love her on a regular basis. So many girls have low self-esteem because they feel unloved by everyone in their lives. We definitely have to take back our girls from this harsh society they are growing up in. Shows the glorify ‘girl fighting’ and hating just disgust me. And to hear people talk about the enjoyment they get from it watching this is disturbing a bit.

    Like why would you get pleasure from watching someone get bullied? Idk. This world we live in gets crazier by the day. I for one am holding hope that these reality tv shows will clean up their acts. We need more shows that portray women and people in general lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down. We need more parents to step up and be parents or either give their kids to people who actually want and understand the responsibilities of being a parent.

    At the end of the day, we have to do better. This is the future generation that will be running our countries and making laws one day.

    • Thank you for sharing your comment. There is so much we can do to help out our girls and I love you are starting at home with your daughter! These girls will be running the world some day!

  5. jj says:

    I completely agree with you. I tell my little girl everyday that she is beautiful and smart. I tell my nieces the same thing and that they can do and be anything they want to be because they have a whole community supporting them.
    Good post!

  6. Krysten says:

    Girls are CRAZY. Seriously straight up. I think it’s because females internalize more and it gets so much cattier. It gets PERSONAL. Ugh it makes me so sad and scared to have daughters!

    • Lol…it’s not a funny matter but I love the matter of fact way in which you wrote this because our girls are acting crazy and it’s scary and sad at the same time!!

  7. toi says:

    this is such a thoughtful and insightful post. I really hope AOI will be able to have that self esteem and being her own personality instead of abiding by the judgment of others

  8. Lauren says:

    Your post definitely just reiterated some of the concerns that I already have about raising Elyse. At this time, while she’s still young, I really am trying to balance talking about how cute and beautiful she is with telling her how smart & how kind and how nice she is. While I certainly hate that women find value in how they look, I still think that due to the nature of women, she needs to know that she is beautiful to me & to her daddy & to everyone who loves her…both on the inside and out. I hope to instill in her values full of kindness and generosity and self-esteem that helps her to always remember how important and how beautiful she is to us.