This was fun to review because i have never heard of Tamsen Fadal and then i was asked to review her book and i was super excited because my blog celebrates all types of relationships including the topic of this book, the single life after divorce.
But firs t a little about Tamsen Fadal, she is an Emmy award-winning journalist, producer and author who anchors the news at PIX11, Tribune Broadcasting’s flagship station in New York City.
There are so many different aspects of the book that i enjoyed which i will go over shortly. However, there are so many quotes from the book but the one that stood out for me is “it’s what we do during the low points that determine how high will rise in the end!” And that’s what Tamsen does in this book, take a difficult low point in her life to education, encourage and motivate others to rise again. And that’s a message i think is relevant whether it’s in the middle of a divorce and or another life transition.
Tamsen took what she learned from her nasty divorce, which she describes as playing out on Page Six and the New York Post, into life lessons that she learned and wanted to share with all of us. Tamsen takes us through Ten Chapters of worthwhile life lessons. And every single chapter is filled with amazing little nuggets of wisdom that we can all use. Here are my favorite lessons from my favorite chapters:
In Chapter 1, Tamsen reminds us that: Trust yourself first; You are not your relationship status; Get personal with yourself; Accept your life is Different Now; Keep Your Breakup Out of the Places it Doesn’t Belong; It’s Better to be along, than lonely with someone; Eat, Pray and Unplug. Tamsen reminds us that self is important regardless of what is going on.
In Chapter 2, Survival Mode: The 90 Days; she reminds us to be still, survey your surroundings, remove the obstacles; take a good look in the mirror; adopt a routine that works for the new you; don’t panic if the path is not clear.
In Chapter 3, Tamsen reminds us to Start Romanticizing the Future, Now. She reminds us to: stop misremembering the past; it’s time to be honest with yourself; paint your past and predict your future;
In Chapter 4, Falling for Yourself Inside & Out gives you new recipe ideas for eating and drinking.
In Chapter 5, Unclutter Your Life; Declutter Your Heart; Tamsen encourages us to “learn to love the sound of I” and give yourself “sexy Self Talk”; also she encourages new singles to have “date night” with oneself; pamper your body. Of course this is advice we can all use.
In Chapter 6, Learn who you are now! She reminds us that “Your ideal man might not be your perfect man.” Tamsen reminds us of the New Single Rules: He doesn’t want a mother; Deal with your habits or move on; Talk like a Lady; Take off Your Reporter’s Hat; Real Men Lead from Behind; You’re the Prize; Will He Make a Good Father.
In Chapter 7, The X Factor; he reminds us that we shouldn’t say anything bad about our ex and also what to do when he meets someone new.
In Chapter 8, A Breakup Shouldn’t Leave You Broke or Broken–we can all learn from this chapter including about money, dating, relationships and debts and reminding us to be in balance.
In Chapter 9, We are Family & Friends–How to handle sticky family situations during holidays; keep learning, be positive, Just say YES, Invest in yourself without apology.
In Chapter 10, The Last 90 Days and Beyond; be prepared with question; be aware you need boundaries; getting back out there.
It’s definitely ten chapters of amazing lessons and encouragement during your transition period.
And throughout the book, Tamsen does a great job of eliciting advice from various psychologists and professionals who dish out different love lessons that includes: don’t look for the end game; don’t try to change a man, don’t share all of yourself too soon; do not get physical too soon; go slowly; be on your time schedule–not on the other persons.
The New Single may not be a book for everyone but Tamsen does a great job of laying out life lessons she’s learned during a very difficult period in her life. And isn’t that how we learn and grow? When we go through a difficult experience and come out on the other side better and stronger and are able to pass on the knowledge to others. And that is something we can appreciate about Tamsen Fadal’s book.